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Not thinking

Although I had noticed behaviors that were questionable like the time that he was supposed to come to Baltimore before we moved in together and he had been drinking. I called to ask when he would be meeting me and my daughter at the mall. He was with his brother and he was rude to me on the phone with his brother adding to his verbal jabs in the background. When I got off the phone I was disturbed and my daughter and me decided to go to the mall alone. He later apologized to me when he saw me in person later that day. Moving in with someone you have known for a long time and trusted can be a difficult decision, as it involves taking a risk for your safety and well-being. It is important to remember that abusive behavior can occur in any relationship, regardless of how long you have known the person or how much trust you have placed in them. It is crucial to recognize that the responsibility for abusive behavior lies solely with the abuser. No one deserves to be subjected to any form of...
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I still can't believe I allowed me to hit me with his car

I was utterly taken aback when he hit me with his car. It was a shocking and unexpected act of violence, especially considering that this was his first instance of domestic violence towards me. The sheer audacity and disregard for my safety left me stunned and bewildered. At that moment, I didn't even realize the gravity of the situation, as I was completely unaware that this would be the start of a pattern of abuse. Little did I know, this incident would mark the beginning of a painful journey filled with fear and uncertainty. Then I started noticing an increase in his drinking. At first, I had made a joke out of it saying that his love of Colt 45 was reminiscent of Billy Dee William and his role in Mahogany co-starring Diana Ross. I would start singing the song “Do you know where you’re going to?… when I noticed his belligerence surfacing. I made his excessive drinking into a joke instead of a red flag. — Recognizing domestic violence is a crucial step in addressing and preventin...
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Domestic violence may start differently for you

Understanding how domestic violence starts is crucial in addressing and preventing this pervasive issue. Domestic violence is a complex problem that can have devastating consequences for individuals and families. By examining the root causes and early warning signs, we can work towards creating a safer society for everyone. Domestic violence often begins with a power imbalance within a relationship. This can manifest in various forms, such as emotional manipulation, controlling behavior, or verbal abuse. Over time, these initial signs may escalate into physical violence or sexual assault. Factors such as societal norms, cultural beliefs, and learned behaviors can contribute to the initiation of domestic violence. Unhealthy patterns of communication and unresolved conflicts within relationships can also be catalysts for abusive behavior. It is important to recognize that domestic violence does not discriminate based on gender, age, socioeconomic status, or any other characteristic. I...
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Where did I go wrong

 I should have gotten out at that point. I was a strong woman who should have known that this was a red flag but as women we often ignore red flags because our desired to be loved, to belong is so strong. I had known this man as someone who could be trusted, someone that I had an association with for years. But in all honesty I knew nothing about his background, I knew noting about his family and even though he was an acquantance for over 20 years I really did not know HIM. Then came the second incident. We were in the house, putting away groceries and he slammed my hand in the vegetable cooler. "Oh my bad" he said. It gave me pause but I still ignored it. As long as he kept me drunk and high nothing else mattered. I could ignore the small stuff. Then other things started happening. He had convinced me to give up the car that I had that was in storage due to an unlawful traffic stop in Baltimore. If you know anything about the area, this is not uncommon. The police officer st...
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Love shouldn’t Hurt

 As I sit in my new apartment, I realized that it has been two years since I fled from my Abuser. I haven't had any contact with him or his family. My relationship with my Abuser started out with my reconnection to an old friend. I had known of him for over 20 years and we often harmlessly firted with each other, having lunch together, etc. I was married when I met him so I never pursued anything more. He often babysitted my young sons so I trusted him. He was also my cousin's best friend and occasionally we all would hang out together. When my husband at the time and me would have parties at our home he was always invited. While festiviites were taking place you could always find him in the corner drinking a beer, sitting alone with no real interaction with everyone else. I never felt as though he was a threat to me or my family. I never saw him as dangerous at all. In fact he always looked like a lost puppy to me and one of my good friends.  We lost touch over the years and ...
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Location: Maryland, USA
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